Adoption is a matter of the heart

Adoption is a matter of the heart

I am the proud adoptive mother of twin girls that are almost 23. I suffered infertility and disappointment on my road to becoming a mother. Working so closely with birth parents and adoptive parents, I realized they are walking the same road but just coming from another direction. Adoptive parents come from a road of infertility, pregnancy loss, and a series of other circumstances that have lead them to adoption as a way to grow their families. Birth parents walk a similar road of hurt and loss, but it comes from another direction. When an adoption plan is created for an unborn child, these two sides meet in the middle and things often come together like two puzzle pieces.

As an adoptive parent, it is common to have many fears and anxieties during the process of being matched with a birth parent. Adoptive families have so many questions and concerns and often ask themselves “Will we ever get chosen?”, “Will a birth mother really be able to place her child for adoption?” Similarly, Birth Parents ask things like “Will an adoptive family really love my baby unconditionally and as their own?” Both sides have so many of the same fears, concerns and unanswered questions that when an adoption plan is made, it can be seen as a coming together of both sides with love and good intentions for the best interest of a child.

When coming to the “table of adoption” there is much fear, apprehension and worry for everyone involved. I always tell the birth parents we are working with to take their time choosing a family and consider all options available to them. Make sure to be clear with an adoptive family about things like if you would like them to attend the birth and how you want things to look like after the baby is placed with them. And for adoptive families, I always suggest they consider all things the birth parent is requesting and make sure they can follow through with their commitments to their child’s birth parents after the child is placed. For both sides, adoption is emotionally charged and it is really important to be open and honest from the start.

Either way you approach it, adoption is a matter of the heart. There will be times during the process that unexpected issues will arise and I believe that, if both sides can approach these issues with honest intent and flexibility, everyone will be able to move forward towards the best solution for everyone involved. Many times, I have seen fear and apprehension turn into mutual trust and respect on both sides.

We offer and encourage birth parents to participate in counseling throughout the process so that they are well prepared in terms of what to expect. We offer birth parents a chance to connect with other birth moms who have been through the process of placing a child and are willing to share their experience. We have a counselor on staff that is a birth mother and will gladly share her personal experience with other birth parents. We assist and support adoptive parents as well and offer them the opportunity to speak with other adoptive parents who have walked a similar road.

If you are facing an unplanned or unexpected pregnancy and would like to explore adoption further, Melanie and I would love to sit down with you and answer any question you might have. If you are really not sure, that is okay, we are still glad to be a resource for you as you decide. You definitely need as much information as possible to make a decision. If you are ready to take the next step, we are prepared to show you as many profiles of waiting families you need to see to choose the right one. Families are willing to talk with you and meet with you and work together with you to prepare for this wonderful blessing coming into your life.

There is a poem called the “Legacy of An Adopted Child” and it says it best when it say “You, my child are a product of two different kinds of love”.

Please feel free to contact us by calling or texting Marilu at 850-815-5858 or Melanie at 850-597-1361.