One heart broken, one heart overjoyed on Mother's Day

One heart broken, one heart overjoyed on Mother's Day

After being involved in many adoptions over the years, I often describe these situations as “bittersweet”. In many situations, I have a birth mother in one room making a selfless and brave decision for her child and then I have an adoptive family in another room overjoyed with the opportunity to grow their family through adoption. A broken heart and incredible joy are just steps away from each other in the hospital, yet love is present in both.

I believe that it is very important to honor your child’s birth mother on this day that is so significant for mothers around the world. I am an adoptive mother of twins and Mother’s Day is a very important day for me. I will never forget my first Mother’s day when my daughters were about 10 days old. How could it be that this woman who gave birth to these children would so graciously and unselfishly allow me the privilege of being called “mom”. We celebrated my daughters 23rd birthday a few days ago, and still the feeling of gratitude and love is as present as the day they were born.

I feel it is important as adoptive parents to remind our children that it all started by the unselfish decision made by a woman who loved them so much and wanted the best for them. This woman that the world knows as a “birth mother” is indeed a mother. Mothers want the best for their children and make daily sacrifices for their children. Your child’s birth mother is worthy of recognition and respect. Even if for some reason you are not in touch with your child’s birth mother, there are so many acts of kindness and consideration that can be done. Just this week, I spoke to an adoptive parent who has a three year old daughter. She shared with me that she had contacted her daughter’s birth mother and, knowing she was home with young children all day because of the current situation, sent a box of snacks and things for her children to do during this time when everyone is home. What a great idea! I would like to suggest that other adoptive parents do something like that if they are in touch with their children’s birth mother. What an awesome way to say “We are thinking of you!”.

There are so many things you can do this year to recognize your child’s birth mother even if you are not in touch. It’s a way of recognizing this amazing woman who gave you and your child a gift like no one else really has! Honoring your child’s birth mother reminds your child that he or she is loved by many even if they have never met! Planting a special flower, releasing a balloon, or if you are in touch with your child’s birth mother, send her a picture book of recent events in your child’s life. Even telling your child the story of the day they were born (one more time!)…

So… Happy Birth Mother’s day to all the wonderful women out there who put their children first and showed selfless love and strength. You are recognized, you are worthy, and most importantly… YOU ARE LOVED! Be good to yourself, you deserve it.